Because I Caved In To Peer Pressure… (ABT Round 3 Group 5 Whatever)

Curious about the three other blogs in Group 5 of Round 3 of the AniBlog Tournament?  Well, you’re in luck.  It just so happens they were all featured in the most recent episode of Generic Fanservice Harem Magic-Fighting School the Anime.  Here’s a rundown of what you may of missed but probably already know because it’s the same thing you’ve seen a thousand times before…

Moments after the final bell of the day had rung but before the students could rise from their desks, stretch, and mingle among each other, Taro Every Lead (TEL) jumped from his seat and raced toward the library.  Rather than hang out after class with his Sweetheart Childhood Friend (SCF) and Perverted and Unlucky Best Male Friend (PUBMF), TEL needed to finish his summer homework assignment that he was unable to complete.  The reason you ask?  Just last night while returning home from trip to the convenience store, TEL was magically warped to an alternative dimension where he found out the most Beautiful, Popular, Intelligent, Athletic, and Unobtainable Girl in his school is actually some sort of Magical Witch Nekomimi Princess (BPIAUMWNPG) of some magical kingdom.  Not only that but TEL meet two other magical girls in that world, a Scandily-Dressed Tsundere Knight (SDTK) and a Shy, Motherly, Friendly Maid Girl (SMFMG).  After TEL learned he, too, is a magical knight and easily defeated the first boss in one blow at the end of the previous episode (along with an accidental groping of BPIAUMWNPG), the four teenagers were warped back to Earth on the morning before his first day of high school.  Oh, and SDTK and SMFMG also transferred into his class, too, can’t forget that.

“What luck. I was going to finish my summer homework before school this morning but that strange, magical dimension really messed things up,” TEL thought to himself as he raced to the library. “Thankfully our new teacher, Busty Dreamy Seductive Meganekko-Sensei (BDSM-S) will allow me to turn it in before 5.”

Before long, TEL arrived at the school library and opened the door. “Ya~hhoo~!” a voice called out to him.  Why, standing at the first table in the library was Blonde Busty Senpai (BBS), complete with a pose and a wink. “Whatcha doing TEL-kun?” she asked with an almost too cheerful and playful tone.

“No time to chat BBS, I’ve got to finish my summer homework before BDSM-S punishes me!” TEL explained in the most plainly way possible.

“Hoo~?” the curious BBS said, “First year summer homework?  That’s the one on the anime bloggers right?  Who did you get stuck with this time?”

“Baka-Raptor, Metanorn, and Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity?” TEL said, settling into the seat at the table and opening his textbook.  But before he could begin reading about these legendary anime blogs, BBS slammed her fist onto the book and drew TEL’s attention first to her unreasonably low-cut serafuku and then to her face.

“You don’t need a textbook to help you with that, I’ve got all the answers right up here,” BBS said as she pointed to her brain.  TEL had an uneasy look on his face but didn’t have enough personality to stop her.

BSS: “Let’s see Baka-Raptor… Baka-Raptor… oh, I remember, that’s the blog written by that handsome guy who lounges around in a T-back all day.”

TEL: “…but that’s contradictory…”

BSS: “Right, and he also had this huge obsession with birds or something.”

TEL: “Raptors?  Don’t you mean dinosaurs?”

BSS: “Nah, birds of prey.  Raptors.  I mean, who would base an anime blog off dinosaurs when birds are so much cooler?  I mean, once dinosaurs hit a certain level, they evolve into birds and go from a stupid normal type to a normal/flying type Pokemon animal.”

TL Note: Raptors are another name for birds of prey based off the Latin term “rapere” meaning to take by force.  This field of birds includes: eagles, falcons, buzzards, owls, and ospreys.

TEL: “Wait, what was that just now that just flashed on the screen?”

BSS: “Oh, and his reviews all had this cryptic rating system full of pluses and minuses and whatnot.  No one could understand what it meant at the time, so everyone just laughed.  And that’s why it’s famously known as the funniest anime blog you’ll ever read.”

TEL: “…but I like his writing style…”

BSS: “Right, what’s next, Metanorn?  If I recall correctly, that was the blog written by all the zoo animals under direct supervision of the zookeeper.  Every creature would have to write a post on every episode of an anime or they wouldn’t get feed for that day.  You might say that’s a cruel zookeeper but she certainly got results.  Could always be counted on them to turn out a bunch of content with methods like that.”

TEL: “I don’t think it worked like that… plus, I don’t even understand what Metanorn means.”

BSS: “Don’t worry, no one does.  Oh right, and I remember they used to have more members but during those Tag Team posts they had, a few of the more hungry animals feasted on some of the weaker ones.  So they weren’t there in flesh but they were there in spirit.  Guess that’s what happens when you mix put a lion and a gazelle together in a meating.  Get it, meating?  Meeting?” She burst into laughter and the quality check at Generic Anime Studio forgot they were in a library and that someone would’ve asked them to quiet down but who cares when the anime is as generic as this?

TEL: “…”

BSS: “Oh, and the last one is easy. Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity was the first blog solely run by a super computer that would spit out posts on everything anime almost daily.  It was also the first computer to develop a split-personality disorder which resulted in all these different styles and content and whatnot.  Heck, they even wheeled that computer around to anime festivals, I think.  Recently went to Europe to get loaded on beer and women, too”

TEL: “Senpai… we can’t even pronounce that blog’s name in Japanese.  I certainly wonder what all the fansub groups translating this will come up with when they reach this episode…”

BSS: “Oh, and how could I forget the Super Subjective Reviews?  Those articles were mainly just error reports from the computer after it got jealous of all the love those anime were receiving and it overloaded its circuits.  Seems the program that wrote those posts… I think it was @fkeroge… caused the computer to crash a few times as a result.”

TEL: “Senpai…” his voice growing weaker.

BSS: “And that’s it!  That should be enough to get you the best grade on your summer homework!  I’ve got to run to tennis/volleyball/basketball/music/science/whatever club or I’ll be late.  You should join; we’re looking for a male student to join our club since it’s just 5 girls right now.  So, if you’ll excuse me…” cut to a full-body shot with three vertical pans of BSS in that classic, peace-sign/wink pose with the final shot ending with a “See ya, TEL-kun!”

And with that, she was up and out of the library.  The way the camera was positioned in that shot, you can see her panties are striped.  Finally, the first fanservice shot of the episode and the only reason why half the audience is watching this anime.  That left TEL sitting blankly at the table with his textbook open and his notebook completely blank.  He was a bit dazed at everything that just happened, especially knowing that Senpai had a terrible track record at school and had to take those dreaded summer classes.

It wasn’t long before TEL decided it’d be better to check these blogs out for himself and get the real story on them.  He parked himself at the nearest computer and opened up a web browser.

Maybe… maybe, you should do the same thing, too.

Baka-Raptor (Group 5 vs. The Dragon)

Metanorn (Story of Trespassers) (Group 5 Podcast)

Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity? (SSR – Baka-Raptor) (SSR – Metanorn) (SSR – Avvesione’s Anime Blog)

Vote for us in the AniBlog Tournament!  Thank you!